A First Grader's Take on the Spoon Theory

Image: michellesteltzer.wordpress.com 

If you suffer from chronic pain or know someone who does, you may have heard about the Spoon Theory. Basically when you have a chronic disease you only have so many spoons. You use a spoon when you do things - get up out of bed, cook dinner, etc.

I've explained the Spoon Theory to Emily before but we were talking about in the car the other day. She came up with her own little twist on it.

According to Emily, who is 6, the spoons are kept in one's butt. They exit your butt once you use them and when you are totally out of spoons, that means you are pooped.

I honestly laughed out loud at that because it makes a weird sort of sense. I do feel pretty darn pooped when I'm out of spoons.

Even though I feel guilty about being sick all the time, Emily is a huge source of joy. She's very caring and she brightness my day,

The Most Terrifying First Day of School

There have been a few times in my life that I've been utterly terrified. The time when I nearly was plowed into by a semi during a snow storm or the time a fair ride tried to kill me and my mom. But on Monday, I experienced the worst terror I've ever experienced.

Monday was Emily's first day of 1st grade. Since Monday's are my normal day off, both Todd and I took her to school. Usually Todd is the one who will drop her off. Because I work until 3:30 the other days of the week, Emily has to ride the bus home.

I got to the bus stop - which is one house down from ours - pretty early. The bus was late because the main road to our neighborhood was closed thanks to a power line being down. I waited, and all the kids got off the bus - but no Emily.

I talked to the bus driver, and he hadn't seen her, so he called the dispatch and the school. She was missing for what seemed like forever. I got in my car, and headed to the school because they said they would route whatever bus she was on back to the school.

They did call to say they found her while I was on the way to the school. I panic attacked my way to the school - it was probably ten minutes before Emily and the bus driver walked through the doors.

She was crying when she came through the doors, and I was crying. I hugged her so tight, and ended up getting her a Happy Meal for supper because I was already hurting thanks to all the crying and anxiety.

Because of our McDonald's trip and the detour around the downed power line, Emily finally got home two hours after she should have gotten off the bus. She calmed down pretty fast once home, it took me a bit longer.

Yesterday, I felt anxious as it came time for the bus to drop her off, but she had been put on the right bus. But she came off the bus where she was suppose to be. She was very happy about that.

Hopefully this will be the last time for a while that my kid is lost. I don't want to feel that fear again.

Dragon Con Goals and Worries

Image: dragoncon.com

Dragon Con is only a couple of weeks away so we are totally in Dragon Con mode. Todd and I have conversations about Dragon Con several times a week, sometimes several times a day. I'm really looking forward to my 8th Dragon Con but I do have some worries.

I've been really sick as of late. Lots of really bad migraines as well as balance issues. I'm planning on getting the disability sticker on my badge so I can sit down in a chair to wait for panels and I am not going to give blood this year.

Hopefully I'll be ok - I might add a sticker to the back of my badge with Todd's contact information, just in case. I'll be spending most of the con with him anyway. I am still looking forward to it a lot.

My main goal for this Dragon Con is to finally meet Peter David. He's been one of my favorite authors since I was in high school, and he's usually at Dragon Con, but I never seem to be able to find him. Probably because the last couple of years we having hit the Artist Alley at all, and I think that's where he usually is. But this year, I will meet him, get his autograph, buy new books!

This year I'm also pretty excited that I actually need to buy dice. Need may be a strong word, but we gave Emily dice from our own collections. After years of playing Hero System games, we have an abundance of  6 sized dice. But we all need some of the others, especially Emily. She has requested pink and multi-colored dice, and she especially needs some more 4 sized dice because that's what she uses most with her Magic Missile spell.

I'm not a panelist at all this year, and that is a good thing I think with my health issues. I'll be stalking the Walk of Fame with Todd. I really hope the Arrow guests and Big Bird will do table pictures. I really want pictures with all of them but I really don't want to use Froggy.

Other than that, I'm only bringing two costumes this year. I'll be the Tightrope Girl on Friday and Saturday and then Blue Jacket Kaylee for Sunday. We will probably leave fairly early on Saturday - maybe even right after the parade. Saturday is so crowded anymore it's hard to move a lot of times. Plus there is a really cool mall not far from my aunt and uncle's house with a Disney Store!

I think taking it easy on Saturday may be the key to making it through this Dragon Con without getting to sick or in too much pain. Hopefully, I'll have a great con, will be able to meet cool celebrities, meet Peter David finally, sniff some BPAL and hang out with 80,000 pretty awesome people!

Grief Lingers

13 years ago today, cancer took my mom from me. That morning I woke up, as near as I can tell about the same time she passed, and I just knew she had gone.

While I am a Christian and I believe she is in Heaven watching over me, I still grieve for her. The grief has faded some over the years, but then something will happen and it will be as sharp and painful as it was that day in 2002.

The sucky part about aging is people you love start dying. This year I've had to major losses. My great aunt Dorothy, who was not truly out of the blue since she was in her 90's and not in great health, and my dear friend Kathy who died suddenly. In a lot of ways, my grief for my mom is mingled in the grief of these losses, especially Kathy's.

Sadly, death is a part of life and we will all lose loved ones along the way. Hug your loved ones tight today for me.

Why I Am Pro-Toy

Yesterday, a friend of mine posted a link of a blog post about a mom who took away all of her kids toys because her kids were always asking for new toys. So she took away all of their toys and even took away the comforter off of their beds. My friend had a posed a question, was this abusive? You can read the whole article here but while it's not abusive, I think it's mean.

Emily does have a lot of toys. Probably more toys than she needs, but for the most part she plays with most of them on a regular basis. We do purges of toys every once in a while, mostly at this point the toys that she's too big for get sold.

We have always treated Emily as her own person, and her toys are hers. Most she got from us or as gifts, but some she has used her own money to buy. They are her things and she would honestly have to do something really bad to have them all taken away.

Usually when she does do something that is punishment worthy, we take away screen time. No TV, no iPad, that sort of thing. At that point, I want her to have access to her toys so she can play. It's still a punishment but it also doesn't leave her with absolutely nothing to do.

Besides, it's not really nice to have my own toys and deny her own. We have a stuffed animal addiction throughout our family. Emily has a ton, in part because she has gotten several that were mine and Todd's when we were kids. Todd and I also have our own stuffed animals even now that we sleep and cuddle with.

When Emily's room became overfilled with stuffed animals, we made her a deal. If she wanted to get a new one, she had to pick three or four old ones to give up. This way we were all happy.

Toys are fun and a part of childhood. Emily uses her imagination to make up stories with her toys. For that reason, even though my house is full of toys, I will always be for toys.