The Slipperiness of Kids

Image: pregnancyhumor.com

I'm sure everyone who has internet access has seen the story of how a Gorilla was killed at the Cincinnati Zoo because a four year old got away from his mother and went into the enclosure. Of course this caused a lot of internet rage to rise up. People were very up in arms that the gorilla was shot even though, from what I read, the boy had serious injuries after they were able to rescue him. And of course, all sorts of awful things were said about the mother.

As a mother, I feel so badly for that boy's mom. Kids are crazy slippery creatures and can make a break for it the second you have your attention elsewhere. And unlike the internet hordes think, it is simply impossible to have your eyes on your kids every second.

Thankfully, I haven't ever lost Emily in a scary place like that. When she was that age, I had a harness for her because I was super paranoid about losing her. It was cute and had bat wings. Of course, there are people out there who think leases on toddlers makes them more like pets than people. I didn't give a crap what they thought though.

I do remember a story from my childhood. I was only about five or six years old. My sister is 18 months younger than I am, and was about three when we all went down to GA to visit my dad's brother and his family.

We went to Six Flags over GA while we were there. I think my aunt and uncle only had two kids at that time, and then my parents had me and my sister. So it was a pretty even adult to kid ratio. Despite this, my three year old sister wandered off. She didn't even know she was lost but it took our party a good fifteen minutes to find her.

I was little and I still remember this. I'm sure my mom remembered that until the day she died. Now that I'm a mom, I can't imagine the fear she must have felt while we were looking for my sister. Thankfully our story turned out okay.

And even though a gorilla died, the child's life was preserved. I know some people might not see it that way, but the zoo did what they had to save the child. And I'm sure that mom is beating herself up more than any nasty comment on the internet can. Her kid was hurt because of it!

So my prayers go out to that family and I hope no lasting damage happens to that little boy or his family. Parents are human too and it only take a second for a curious child to slip away.

Being A Parent With Chronic Pain

June is Migraine Awareness Month. This is my 4rd in a series of posts about my experiences with chronic migraines. The first was about a day in the life with chronic migraines , the second was about an unfortunate superpower that comes with migraines and the third is about how chronic pain makes me a shut-in.

I always knew I wanted to have kids. I'm not sure why because I never really liked kids growing up and babies made me feel very uncomfortable. I was always afraid I was going to drop them or something like that. But I wanted one of these creatures for my very own.

My chronic pain started before I was married but I still wanted a child. Todd and I started dating around the time my headaches started. We did the long distance thing but he heard about all I went through during the nine months of hell I went through while the doctors tried to find a cause.

When we started getting serious, we sat down and had a long talk about everything. Our expectations for marriage, religion, and of course, kids. Todd was on the fence about kids, so we agreed we would not do any fertility treatments. If I couldn't get pregnant the old-fashioned way, we weren't meant to have kids. 

After our honeymoon, we started trying for a baby. It only took three months before I became pregnant. Being pregnancy while suffering from chronic migraines was miserable. I felt awful the first and third trimesters because my pain didn't go away. In some ways, it got worse.

Emily Morgan was born on October 17, 2008 via a c-section. She was perfect but I was still in pain. When she was a baby, it was easier. I'd veg out with her in my arms and I'd sleep when she slept. Now that she's older, I feel more guilty about the high pain days when I'm basically stuck in bed.

She is very sweet about it though. She gave me one of her teddy bears and named him Chronic Pain Bear. When Todd went in the hospital and was diagnosed with MS, we gave him Chronic Pain Bear. Emily gave me a dog stuffed animal who got named Chronic Pain Puppy.

I try to do as much with her as I can. We went to the pool on Thursday even though I wasn't feeling great. I don't want her to be stuck inside all summer because of my chronic pain issues. I paid for it on Friday, but it was worth it to see my daughter have a great time splashing in the water.

I wonder sometimes if I'm doing her a disservice because of my chronic migraines. But she is loved and well cared for, which is more than other kids out there. 

Late Bloomer or Slacker?

Todd and I when we started dating

I had a bout of insomnia last night so I do what I always do - turn on my phone and read Facebook. One of my friends had posted an article from Time Magazine - Grow Up, Not So Fast. It describes the trend of people who bounce from job to job, aren't getting married and settling down and sometimes moving back in with their parents. It really described me and it kind of pissed me off because the article says that people make these decisions because they aren't ready to grow up.

It did take me a while to graduate from college in part because I was immature. When I started college, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I went to college because that was the thing you did when you were done with high school. I floundered quite a bit trying to find myself. I went through several majors before I settled on Broadcasting.

The last few years of my college experience were stressful. I had a bad relationship with a man who I was engaged to at one point. We broke up right before my last year of college. And my mom had cancer. She fought hard, but she was very sick by the time I graduated.

Because my mom was so sick, I moved home right after graduation. My mom passed away less than a week after I got back home. My mom and I had been close and even though it had been coming for a while, I was just shocked and stunned. My sister was living at home at the time too, and we both stayed there for a while because we didn't want my dad to be alone.

My sister moved out about a year later once she got married. It was another year before I moved. In that year, my chronic migraines started. I was in and out of the hospital and only was able to hold onto my job because of FMLA. I got my pain under control and moved across the state to move in with Todd.

We struggled with jobs because the area of Michigan we moved to didn't have a lot of work. He found a job but it was just a temp. job, even with his vast amounts of experience as a machinist. I bounced from job to job, having three jobs in two years. Because we were struggling we made the decision to move to North Carolina.

Todd held the same job for eight years, until he changed jobs recently. But I still was bouncing. I got one job right after we moved here, but I ended up being fired after a year because of company politics. I got another job that I loved that I had for two years, but I lost that job in 2008 because of layoffs because of the economy. After that, I couldn't find a job and had a newborn, so we decided that I would go back to school. I re-entered the job market after getting my second degree last year. I had a temp. job for about five months. My assignment ended and I got my current job working in tech support. I've had this job for a year.

I was 29 when we got married and Todd was 31. We had a baby a few years later and we do have a house. But I don’t think my living with my dad or bouncing from job to job has anything to do with not wanting to be an adult. It’s hard out there, especially now with the crappy economy. We are doing well now that we are both working, but it’s been a struggle not that long ago.

People coming out of college are faced with a poor job market and low paying jobs. It’s no wonder that people are living with their parents and putting off marriage and kids. And it has nothing to do with the lack of wanting to be an adult.