Scheduling and Children

Things are different now than when I grew up in the 1980's. I remember walking to school in elementary, and it was a bit of a walk. I remember playing outside all day in the summertime. I do remember a lot of days playing on the original NES too, but electronics weren't a prevalent back then. One thing that seems to be overdone these days is extracurricular activities.

Kids are often scheduled with scouts, and sports, and other things to the point that it can make both kids and parents crazy. Add in more kids, and the crazy goes up for the parents. Back in the day, I did play soccer and softball. It wasn't my choice to do those things, because I suck horribly at sports. I also was a Campfire Girl, but that was an activity I loved. But it wasn't too much that I didn't have any free time.

I knew when I had Emily that I wasn't going to over schedule her. She's ten and in the 4th grade. She's in Girl Scouts, chorus at school and involved with choir and youth group at church. All of these activities are things she really enjoys doing. I've asked her if she wants to do a sport, gymnastics or karate and she has said no every time.

With school chorus, I did make her join because she was on the fence. I knew she would love it and she does. Beyond that, I give her the option continue with all of them, and she wants to.

I suppose some would say that I'm not making her well-rounded by not making her do a sport, but I can understand why she doesn't want to. She's just not a sporty girl, and tends to be more interested in the arts - just like I was as a kid.

Even with this little amount of groups she is involved in, it seems like we are constantly on the go during the school year - especially in December and May. I can't imagine if we added more to it.

Last night at Girl Scouts, several other parents and I had a discussion about activities. One said that she is fine with her daughter joining activities but even if she doesn't like it, she has to stick it out for the season. I think this is a good rule to have, especially with sports. Yeah, rec leagues aren't super serious but you could still put your team at a disadvantage if you quit in the middle of the season.

And then another one was talking about being on traveling teams. Apparently there are some teams you can get your kid on and they travel all over. From what they said, it can eat up all of your weekends with traveling to meets. That sounds like a nightmare to me, and completely not doable for our family since both Todd and I work on the weekends.

For now, I think we have a good home-school-activity balance going on for Emily. This summer, she'll have VBS at church and then she'll be going to Girl Scout camp twice. Once for the week and one overnight with me that she earned selling cookies.

Do you think your kids are over-scheduled?

Momo and the Evils of the Internet

So, my Facebook feed has been filled with this really creepy picture of a creature called Momo the last few days. Supposedly, this creature had been spotted in YouTube videos, basically telling kids to self harm and even kill themselves.

To me, it had the feel of a hoax, but I asked Emily about it. She had heard about it but hadn't seen it in any videos she's watched. Though she tends to only watch verified YouTube accounts like DanTM. She mostly watches DanTM, which I don't mind him but Todd finds it annoying.

I asked her what she would do if someone on YouTube, like Momo, told her to commit suicide. She looked at me like I was crazy and told me that, of course, she wouldn't listen. I showed her the picture of Momo and she was also unfazed by that. Honestly I was more creeped out by it than she was, to the point that she found a bunch of pictures of Momo on her tablet and kept trying to show them to me to freak me out.

In the midst of this uproar, I've seen posts from other parents that say they aren't going to let their kids watch YouTube anymore. Of course, it's up to them but I think it's an overreaction. I watch a lot of YouTube too, though for me it's mostly Disney World vlogs. There is a lot of great content on YouTube.

But this kind of goes back to the old adage that the internet is evil. Social media, too, is supposedly not a good thing either. I honestly get really tired of hearing both of those. Neither is evil, the internet and social media are really quite neutral. They can be used for good, they can be used for evil, though I do think that different sites and platforms try to keep the evil at bay as best they can.

The internet is an incredible tool. As someone with chronic pain, it allows me to have contact with people even when I'm not able to leave the house (or my bed in some cases). And I don't think there is any reason to keep kids off the internet.

It may be because I only have one kid, but I tend to know exactly what Emily is watching or playing. I've sat through god knows how many unboxing videos on YouTube and I do like watching some of the video game walkthroughs with her. I also let her have her own YouTube channel - I'm the one who puts up her videos. She doesn't have a lot of followers - it's pretty much a couple of my friends and a couple of hers. But she'll film her own walkthroughs and do unboxings. She enjoys it and loves to be able to call herself a YouTuber.

In the end, I think if we keep up with what our kids are watching and playing, and have honest communication with them, things will be ok. Though I'd be happy if I didn't have to see that Momo picture again! It is really creepy!

Kids and Dragon Con

Dragon Con 2012

Dragon Con is coming up at the end of this month, and 80K+ people will descend onto downtown Atlanta. And some of those people will be kids.

I, of course, am the mom of a child. And even though Emily is 9, she will not be joining us for Dragon Con this year. There are several reasons why we choose not to bring her. For one, Dragon Con is overwhelming for adults and I know that it can be for kids as well.

You see, Emily has been down at Dragon Con a couple of times. The first time, we brought her down for the parade when she was 11 months old. She was ok, until the Netherworld (a local haunted house) float rolled on by. She got scared and just started wailing, so we headed out.

The 2nd time was when she was 3, almost 4 years old. She came down to Dragon Con with us to march in the parade. She did really good but soon just got tired and cranky. Todd took her back to my aunt and uncle's after the parade and we decided then that she would have to be much older before she returned to Dragon Con.

In the years since, she's gone to quite a few smaller cons. Lexington Comic Con, SC Comicon and ConCarolinas just this year. And she does great there, but still we choose to leave her with the kind local relatives who watch her while we are at the con.

I personally don't think little kids belong at Dragon Con. It's just too much, and I'm sure that it's hard for the parents to juggle the things they want to do while taking care of their kids. I'm sure there are people out there who disagree with me. I'm also one of those people who would never bring a baby or toddler to Disney World.

If you choose to bring your kids, be warned. It's crowded, there is tons of walking you and your kids will have to do. There are going to be spots where it's going to be hard to get a stroller through, especially if it's a big one.

Other things to look out for are costumes that show a lot of skin and some costumes that could be scary to kids. Most cosplayers wait until after dark to wear their racier costumes, but there is still some that might not be entirely appropriate for kids during the day. Just depends on your parenting style and how sensitive your kids might be to scary stuff.

For parents who want to go to Dragon Con, but have to bring their kids, I'd recommend getting a room in one of the host hotels or someplace close. That way you have somewhere to go when your kids start getting overwhelmed and cranky. Otherwise, get familiar with the Kaleidoscope track that has lots of programming geared towards kids.

And next year, we will have the child in tow for Sunday only. I think she may be a teenager before she gets to come on Saturday, unless she wants to march in the parade with me. She wants to go, but she doesn't really understand the scope of what Dragon Con is. Especially the way her dad does Dragon Con - running around to get autographs and look at the dealers room all the while going fast without stopping for a lot of breaks.

Just things to consider if you are thinking about bringing your kids to Dragon Con!

The Slipperiness of Kids

Image: pregnancyhumor.com

I'm sure everyone who has internet access has seen the story of how a Gorilla was killed at the Cincinnati Zoo because a four year old got away from his mother and went into the enclosure. Of course this caused a lot of internet rage to rise up. People were very up in arms that the gorilla was shot even though, from what I read, the boy had serious injuries after they were able to rescue him. And of course, all sorts of awful things were said about the mother.

As a mother, I feel so badly for that boy's mom. Kids are crazy slippery creatures and can make a break for it the second you have your attention elsewhere. And unlike the internet hordes think, it is simply impossible to have your eyes on your kids every second.

Thankfully, I haven't ever lost Emily in a scary place like that. When she was that age, I had a harness for her because I was super paranoid about losing her. It was cute and had bat wings. Of course, there are people out there who think leases on toddlers makes them more like pets than people. I didn't give a crap what they thought though.

I do remember a story from my childhood. I was only about five or six years old. My sister is 18 months younger than I am, and was about three when we all went down to GA to visit my dad's brother and his family.

We went to Six Flags over GA while we were there. I think my aunt and uncle only had two kids at that time, and then my parents had me and my sister. So it was a pretty even adult to kid ratio. Despite this, my three year old sister wandered off. She didn't even know she was lost but it took our party a good fifteen minutes to find her.

I was little and I still remember this. I'm sure my mom remembered that until the day she died. Now that I'm a mom, I can't imagine the fear she must have felt while we were looking for my sister. Thankfully our story turned out okay.

And even though a gorilla died, the child's life was preserved. I know some people might not see it that way, but the zoo did what they had to save the child. And I'm sure that mom is beating herself up more than any nasty comment on the internet can. Her kid was hurt because of it!

So my prayers go out to that family and I hope no lasting damage happens to that little boy or his family. Parents are human too and it only take a second for a curious child to slip away.

Lazy, Not Lazy and the Struggle

Image: www.clipartpanda.com

I will fully admit that I was pretty lazy as a kid. My room was usually a mess because I didn't like picking it up. I'd much rather be reading or watching TV. Even after I got into college, I was still pretty lazy.

My life turned upside down after I graduated from college. I moved back home, my mom passed away, and then a year later, my chronic pain started. Being in that much pain all the time makes one lay around and do nothing a lot. It's not being lazy, per say, but trying to cope with the pain.

I think what really caused me to become really not lazy is when I had a kid. Especially as she got older. Our house isn't very big and Emily has a lot of stuff for someone so small. My dear husband tries to pick up but his idea of clean and mine are not the same.

Chronic pain is still a part of my life though so I have to walk that fine line between overdoing and not doing enough. Some people might be shocked to hear that I overdo it more often than not. A

After I've been stuck in bed for a few days in the middle of a flare, I get all antsy and want to clean all the things. This last week has a major flare with the weather, and I've been so bored and wanted to clean.

This morning, while working, I organized some stuff that I'm selling by cleaning off a shelve on the bookcase I have in my office. I would probably clean more if the cord to my headset would reach further. Later I will do laundry and dishes! And hopefully not overdo things!

It's a struggle day by day, but I try to manage the best that I can. I surely am not lazy. I parent, I work, I write, I clean, among other things. Hopefully the winter will soon be in the past so I can get even more done around my house!

Why I'm Pro Choice

Image: www.soc.ucsb.edu 

I'm not usually very political here on my blog, but as the election season is ramping up you may see more blogs of this kind. You may not too, I'm chaotic after all.

One of the hot button topics right now is abortion and Planned Parenthood. I'm pro choice for a variety of reasons that I'll go into, but first and foremost, I'm pro choice because of a conversation I had with my mom many years ago.

I was a teenager and while I was spouting against abortion, my mom sat me down. I remember it very clearly - we were sitting in our dining room. She explained to me how important it was for women to have a choice because pregnancy isn't easy and can be fatal. She also told me a story about when she was younger how she had went with a friend to have an abortion. It was a hard choice for my mom's friend but it was the best one that she could make for her situation.

I'll always remember that conversation. I think that marked a point in my life where I tried to look at all angles of an issue before making up my mind about it.

Birth control is great, but it fails so abortions should be available when that happens. I'm not super thrilled with abortion as the only form of birth control, but I highly doubt that sort of issue makes up most abortions.

But it is so important that women have the choice if something horrible happens. If the mom's life is in danger or if the child isn't alive anymore, a women should be able to decide what they want to do. A women's life shouldn't be undervalued just because she is pregnant. And what an awful thing to do, to make a woman carry a child who isn't alive or won't live once they are born!

While some woman might choose to remain pregnant in some situations, the choice needs to be up to the individual woman. Women aren't second class citizens, and for most, the choice to abort is one that isn't come to easily or even quickly.

I've never had an abortion but I've thought a lot about it. Todd and I are very careful but birth control isn't 100%. Hopefully we'll be able to do something permanent to prevent pregnancy, because I don't think I could handle being pregnant now.

I had my chronic pain when I was pregnant with Emily and I honestly hated being pregnant. It was worth it, because I wanted Emily. So I endured ten months of being sick on top of my regular issues. I'm quite happy to be Emily's mom but my chronic pain issues have gotten worse over the years. For me, my choice is not to be pregnant, no matter what. Because my life matters.

When Emily was a toddler, I had a miscarriage. It isn't something I usually talk about because I feel a little guilty because I was in a lot of pain, physically, when it happened, but I was completely and utterly relieved emotionally. Things were hard the first couple of years that Emily was here, from postpartum depression to finding myself out of a job after my maternity leave was over. I was barely hanging on and having another child would have been awful.

It may make me seem like an awful person, but that's how I felt and how I feel. It was only a few months after I had that miscarriage that I landed myself in the hospital with the first mass in my brain. That incident was hard enough but add on being pregnant at the same time, it would have be horrible.

While I became pro choice all those years ago with that talk from my mom, my experiences have have just strengthened my position. My life matters, and as a fully formed adult, I should be able to make informed choices about the state of my body. Every woman should be able to make those choices. If you don't like abortion, don't have one. But please, don't take away my right to choose what's best for me and my family.

Guns and School Shootings

Image: fox4kc.com

I don't often voice any views on here about hot button topics. Something that may change as we go into an election year. But I wanted to get something off my chest.

Yesterday, there was yet another school shooting. I got the news late because I was at choir practice - I sing in the women's choir at my church. As we were singing praises to the Lord, more people lost their lives to guns.

As a mom, I'm not terribly rational on this subject. I truly want my kid and everyone else's kid in America to be safe. So yes, even though this may not be a popular opinion, I want to take your guns.

Even before I was a parent, I've never liked guns. They make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I've fired a gun exactly once in my life. When I was in college, friends and I went to my roommate's house for the weekend. We went hunting and I was given the opportunity to shoot the hunting rifle. Firing that gun once solidified my intense dislike of guns.

My husband has guns, he's gone hunting quite a bit in his youth as many males growing up in Michigan too. All of his guns are at his parent's house currently which makes me happy. If they were here, they would be under lock and key that Emily would not have access too.

Even Todd, who is not uncomfortable with guns, thinks that we need stricter gun control laws in this country. He also thinks that nothing will be done because the NRA is such a loud voice in Washington, and it makes my heart sick to think he is right.

Yes, I know people will think 'guns don't kill people, people kill people.' They have a bit of a point, but guns make it so much easier to kill so many more people at once. It's sickening how easily you can kill with a gun.

While I do think that gun control laws would help quite a bit with this epidemic of shootings in our country, we also have to consider the people doing the shooting. Honestly you have to be pretty screwed up to even consider walking into a high school, college or movie theater and decide to shoot the place up.

The stigma of mental health issues has to get better. People with depression and other mental health issues need to be able to get the help they need. I suffer from depression, and without my anti-depressants, I'm a whole different person. I don't think even then I would want to kill anyone, except perhaps myself. But everyone's brains are different.

It's a sad state of affairs when we have mass shooting after mass shooting after mass shooting. All the while, much of the government is more concerned about governing what a woman does with her own body.

I pray that things will be able to change. I'm trying to do as much as I can by getting me the help I need and being close to my daughter so she doesn't end up following a darker path. But it's time for more to be done.

A First Grader's Take on the Spoon Theory

Image: michellesteltzer.wordpress.com 

If you suffer from chronic pain or know someone who does, you may have heard about the Spoon Theory. Basically when you have a chronic disease you only have so many spoons. You use a spoon when you do things - get up out of bed, cook dinner, etc.

I've explained the Spoon Theory to Emily before but we were talking about in the car the other day. She came up with her own little twist on it.

According to Emily, who is 6, the spoons are kept in one's butt. They exit your butt once you use them and when you are totally out of spoons, that means you are pooped.

I honestly laughed out loud at that because it makes a weird sort of sense. I do feel pretty darn pooped when I'm out of spoons.

Even though I feel guilty about being sick all the time, Emily is a huge source of joy. She's very caring and she brightness my day,

Why I Am Pro-Toy

Yesterday, a friend of mine posted a link of a blog post about a mom who took away all of her kids toys because her kids were always asking for new toys. So she took away all of their toys and even took away the comforter off of their beds. My friend had a posed a question, was this abusive? You can read the whole article here but while it's not abusive, I think it's mean.

Emily does have a lot of toys. Probably more toys than she needs, but for the most part she plays with most of them on a regular basis. We do purges of toys every once in a while, mostly at this point the toys that she's too big for get sold.

We have always treated Emily as her own person, and her toys are hers. Most she got from us or as gifts, but some she has used her own money to buy. They are her things and she would honestly have to do something really bad to have them all taken away.

Usually when she does do something that is punishment worthy, we take away screen time. No TV, no iPad, that sort of thing. At that point, I want her to have access to her toys so she can play. It's still a punishment but it also doesn't leave her with absolutely nothing to do.

Besides, it's not really nice to have my own toys and deny her own. We have a stuffed animal addiction throughout our family. Emily has a ton, in part because she has gotten several that were mine and Todd's when we were kids. Todd and I also have our own stuffed animals even now that we sleep and cuddle with.

When Emily's room became overfilled with stuffed animals, we made her a deal. If she wanted to get a new one, she had to pick three or four old ones to give up. This way we were all happy.

Toys are fun and a part of childhood. Emily uses her imagination to make up stories with her toys. For that reason, even though my house is full of toys, I will always be for toys.

Sick Mom or Healthy Mom

Me and my mom

Growing up, my mom was the picture of health. I don't even remember her getting colds or the flu, though I'm sure she did. My mom was a force of nature and kept everything on track. Because my mom had such a strong personality and was so seemingly healthy, it was a shock when she got cancer.

She still powered on. My parent's owned a water testing company - where we lived you had to have your water tested when you sold your house. My mom would run the office and pick up the samples while my dad did the testing since he's a microbiologist. Even during her two year fight with colon cancer, she would work scheduling pick ups around chemo sessions. But eventually she died and even knowing how sick she was, it was a bit of shock. Not my mom, who had always been so healthy!

Me, on the other hand, am the picture of illness. Despite my chronic headaches, Todd and I went ahead and decided to have Emily. Chronic pain and pregnancy is not a good mix, so I was pretty miserable for the majority of those nine months. But at the end, I got an Emily out of it and she was / is worth all the pain I went through.

Right now, I'm not doing so great. I've been overdoing it especially over Christmas, so I ended up in

the ER this past Saturday with a bad migraine. Some drugs and lot of sleep has helped me feel better. But I'm still tired, because I'm honestly still recovering from the seizures. So I'm trying to rest as much as I can while Todd is still off work for the holidays.

We went to the store last night to pick up my anti-seizure medicine and just walking around Walmart make me feel woozy. So when we got home, it was straight to bed for me. Todd has been doing storytime with Emily at night because he usually doesn't get to do it. Emily has a story Bible and we've been reading our way through it.

Last night, Todd told me, was the story of Jesus as a healer. At the end of each story their is a question and this one was "If you could heal anyone, who would it be." Todd says that she didn't even think about it before she said, 'Mommy.'

I got teary-eyed when I told me that and it got me thinking. Emily has never know what it's like to have a healthy mom. I was sick before she was born and I have gotten sicker over the years. In her very short life, I've been in the hospital twice.

My life span may be shorter because of all this healthy issues. Or I may take after my Great Aunt Dorothy who has health issues as long as I can remember but it also in her 90's. But I'm not holding my breath to have a long life.

I worry about Emily because of my illness. She's a kind, wonderful child but I feel bad that I'm not the best mom that I can be. I feel bad that I can't give her a sibling. I worry how seeing me sick all the time will effect her. I worry that I'll die before she's an adult.

Of course, there is time to see it all play out and I do know that chronic isn't fatal. I just keep adding on issues and diseases which is worrisome. But sick mom or healthy mom, I know both me and my mom wanted to be the best mom's we could (and can).

Old TV and Gender Roles

Image: jimhalterman.com

Autumn is here! It's the time of year for cooler weather, changing leaves and watching my favorite Halloween themed shows.

Every year, I bring out my DVD of Roseanne Halloween episodes. I watched the show when it was on the air, but I don't really watch it anymore expect the Halloween episodes. I decided to watch a few of the first episodes the other night.

In the episode Trick or Treat, there are two different story lines. In one, Dan is very concerned that his son DJ wants to be a witch for Halloween because witches are girls. He struggles a lot with letting DJ dress how he wants.

In the other story line, Roseanne and Jackie's car breaks down on the way to the Haunted House put on by Dan's lodge. Roseanne is dressed up as a burly mountain man and the costume is good enough that even her friend thinks she's a man. She buddies up to the other men in the bar to see what men talk about when they are alone - it ends up being sex, sex and more sex.

Now Trick or Treat aired in 1990 and the world was not as enlightened as it is now. Roseanne being a sitcom usually doesn't get very heavy but it's nice to see them tackling gender stereotypes a bit.

The sex-crazed man bit got old quickly especially since they implied all men care about it getting laid. But the part about DJ wanting to wear a 'girl's' costume was much more interesting and has become more so since I became a parent.

Eventually Dan gets the advise that it's just a phase that DJ is going through. It's a bit of a cop out, but not surprising for the time period.

This year, Emily wants to be a Ninja for Halloween. She also wants a Ninja birthday party for her 6th birthday. A lot of her interests are 'boy' stuff - it makes me crazy with gender descriptions on toys because she likes what she likes. I don't think her interests are just a phase, though they may change as she grows.

Not having do to with gender roles, I do find it odd to see Jackie and Roseanne having to use a payphone to call Dan after their car breaks down. Even though it's only been 24 years, it's hard to imagine a world without cell phones. At least if my daughter ever wants to watch these episodes with me, I can teach her something about the past!

Fireworks

As a kid, I always loved fireworks. I didn't like the noise so much when I was younger, but when we went to Disney World I got over my fear of the noise. My mom had told me that if I didn't put my hands over my ears, we could stay to watch some cartoons at the Main Street Cinema.

Since then, I always loved watching fireworks. Generally I'd see them at Tulip Time and at the 4th of July. My uncle was the head of the FOP in Bay City for many years when I was a teenager, so we'd get to sit really close for the fireworks every 4th.

I never really thought anything about the booms I'd hear at night around the 4th. I actually like hearing the sounds through my open windows as a kid. And then I had a baby of my own.

The moment I had a tiny being that didn't sleep very well, I hated the booms I'd hear at night. I'd curse the people setting them off, especially the ones who would do it really late at night.

Thankfully, Emily is a pretty sound sleeper now. But every time I hear fireworks at night, I cringe. I don't want her to wake up because my neighbors are shooting off fireworks at all hours of the night.

Being a parent really changed my view lots of things, including fireworks.

Being A Parent With Chronic Pain

June is Migraine Awareness Month. This is my 4rd in a series of posts about my experiences with chronic migraines. The first was about a day in the life with chronic migraines , the second was about an unfortunate superpower that comes with migraines and the third is about how chronic pain makes me a shut-in.

I always knew I wanted to have kids. I'm not sure why because I never really liked kids growing up and babies made me feel very uncomfortable. I was always afraid I was going to drop them or something like that. But I wanted one of these creatures for my very own.

My chronic pain started before I was married but I still wanted a child. Todd and I started dating around the time my headaches started. We did the long distance thing but he heard about all I went through during the nine months of hell I went through while the doctors tried to find a cause.

When we started getting serious, we sat down and had a long talk about everything. Our expectations for marriage, religion, and of course, kids. Todd was on the fence about kids, so we agreed we would not do any fertility treatments. If I couldn't get pregnant the old-fashioned way, we weren't meant to have kids. 

After our honeymoon, we started trying for a baby. It only took three months before I became pregnant. Being pregnancy while suffering from chronic migraines was miserable. I felt awful the first and third trimesters because my pain didn't go away. In some ways, it got worse.

Emily Morgan was born on October 17, 2008 via a c-section. She was perfect but I was still in pain. When she was a baby, it was easier. I'd veg out with her in my arms and I'd sleep when she slept. Now that she's older, I feel more guilty about the high pain days when I'm basically stuck in bed.

She is very sweet about it though. She gave me one of her teddy bears and named him Chronic Pain Bear. When Todd went in the hospital and was diagnosed with MS, we gave him Chronic Pain Bear. Emily gave me a dog stuffed animal who got named Chronic Pain Puppy.

I try to do as much with her as I can. We went to the pool on Thursday even though I wasn't feeling great. I don't want her to be stuck inside all summer because of my chronic pain issues. I paid for it on Friday, but it was worth it to see my daughter have a great time splashing in the water.

I wonder sometimes if I'm doing her a disservice because of my chronic migraines. But she is loved and well cared for, which is more than other kids out there. 

A Day in The Life With Chronic Migraines

Image: http://migraine.com/

June is National Migraine Awareness Month and I'm hoping to do several posts to promote awareness. First up is how my chronic migraines can really screw with my life.

I have daily chronic headaches that get migraine bad. And when I say migraine bad, I'm not just taking about higher pain levels. I get auras and nausea, my brain gets fuzzy as does my vision. I get the whole migraine package.

This particular migraine started on Saturday after Wizard World. I slept poorly Saturday night and was feeling worse on Sunday. We drove home on Sunday and I went right to bed.

Monday I still felt bad but I felt well enough to work. I worked my shift and went back to bed. I rested all day. But I went into the living room after I put Emily to bed. There were voices outside my door which I knew someone was in my car port. I went and peeked out my windows and there was a man and woman walking down my driveway. I'm not sure why they thought it would be fun to trespass on my property, but it gave me a small panic attack.

I still rested the rest of the evening and got to sleep early. I slept like a rock but Todd said that I kept making weird noises in the night. I didn't wake up at all during the night which is odd for me

Now we get to the day in the life part. I woke up yesterday feeling like a train had hit me. I stumbled out of bed and went to my computer. Everything was blurry to the point that I had to touch my face to make sure I had put my glasses on. I knew I couldn't work like that so I emailed in sick.

I am very lucky because whenever I get sick my boss just moves my hours to my day off which is Sunday. I was a kind wife and I let Todd sleep in. I went into the living room with Emily and we watched all the Sailor Moon episodes that were up on Hulu.

During the last episode, Todd got up so I headed back to bed. I turned on Netflix and Charmed. I was sick enough that I couldn't do anything else - I tend to be a multitasker so my hands are using busy with cross stitching and other things. But the pain was bad enough that all I could do was lay there and watch tv in a dark room.

Finally my body decided that it was time to sleep. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. It was nearly time for Todd to go to work, so I had Emily come in the bedroom. She amused herself with our iPad while I cat napped for a bit. I felt better when I woke up. Enough that I could make supper and hang out with Emily.

I got Emily to bed and I went back to bed myself. Watched a little more tv and cross stitched a little more. Then I went to sleep.

Today I still am suffering from the same migraine but it's a little better so I'm working. Yesterday was not a typical day in my life, thankfully, but it happens thanks to my chronic migraines. Thankfully I have a good job and a good boss, an understanding husband and a great kid. But just a small thing like people walking up my driveway can give me a panic attack which can lead to higher pain levels.

My life is a game of Russian roulette. I don't get shot but I do get bowled over with the pain sometimes. I try to be as normal as I can but I'm not normal. I'm a chronic migraine sufferer.

Want Vs. Need - The Frozen Conundrum

Emily and her own "Olaf"

As you may have noticed, I love Disney. Disney World, Disney movies, Disney music. Because of my love affair with all things Disney, we went to see Frozen in the theater. I actually saw it twice because Emily and I went to the Frozen sing-along too.

The DVD came out the day before my birthday so I got it as a birthday present to myself. Emily and I have seen it about a dozen times since then. But we have no Frozen toys, clothes or other merchandise in part because of the scarcity and in part because my kid has too many toys to begin with.

Emily is an only child, and I know we spoil her. But we try to keep the spoiling to a minimum. She's no Veruca Salt and doesn't get everything she wants. So there is no way I would be willing to spend even a $100 on the hard to get Frozen stuff.

Nobody's kid NEEDS an Elsa dress. They may want it, but when faced with the choice of no Elsa dress or having to pay tons of money for one the choice should be easy. But apparently parents are trying to get their kids the dresses, no matter what the cost.

Yes, Disney dropped the ball with Frozen merchandise, but I'm sure they are already ramping up production. And as soon as September hits and the Halloween stuff starts coming out, there will be a ton of Frozen costumes to buy.

I did ask Emily what she wanted to be for Halloween. I thought she'd say Anna, Elsa or possibly Sailor Moon. But she said that she wanted to be a pirate! That we can do but she'll probably change her mind before October.

The world isn't fair so while it's hard to not give my kid what she wants she needs to learn that the world isn't fair and you don't always get what you want. I wonder how those kids whose parents are stressing so much to get them Frozen stuff will turn out in the end.

Sickness

A little over a week ago, my daughter went to a birthday party for one of her preschool friends. She had a great time but I think she brought something home with her. That something being the flu that is going around.

She woke up early on Sunday with a fever and she was really listless all day. I figured she might have the flu and I really confirmed it once I got it the next day. She and I spent several days in bed trying to get better. Thank goodness after a few days the fever subsided, though we both have a bit of a cold now.

We’ve been really lucky that Emily has only been really sick a few times in her short life. But I was super paranoid during this sickness, due to reading the wrong things on the internet. A few weeks before we got sick I read a post on Reddit about a parent who found their 10 year old passed away due to the nasty flu that’s going around.

So when Emily got the flu, I checked on her repeatedly during the night to make sure she was still breathing. She was and my paranoia got less as she got better. Though I do need to read less things about dead kids on the internet.

We kept Emily out of school all week because of the fever. At least two kids in her class had the flu too and because of the nasty strain of the flu going around, the school asked to err on the side of caution when sending kids back to school. At least one of the kids who got the flu were also had the birthday party. Who knows how it started but it’s been a very long week.

Videos Games Don't Cause Violence!

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone blames a tragedy on video games. When I was in college, Columbine happened. There was a lot of talk about how violent video games were a large part of why Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold committed this heinous act of violence. I was broadcasting major at the time and I spoke at length in my classes how video games were not to blame.

I’m an avid video gamer and I like games that can be a little on the violent side. My husband, who wouldn't hurt a fly, loves the first person shooter games. We've both been gamers since we were kids, like a lot of people in our generation. Since Columbine, every time that there is a shooting someone in the media tries to blame it on videos games which I think is ridiculous. Especially since neither of us has felt the urge to go shoot up anywhere despite hundreds of hours shooting things in video games.

More and more people play video games now than they did in the late 90’s, so if video games were to blame, there should be a lot more of these violent attacks. The blame should be put squarely on the shoulders of the person responsible – the person who did the shooting.

Banning videos games or monitoring who buys them isn't going to do anything. Now I do think parents should be active in their kids’ lives and make sure they are monitoring what kinds of games they play. Emily is nearly five and she’s already a big games. But she plays things like Kinect Disneyland Adventures or the Toy Story 3 game. We also limit her time that she can play video games because she’s like her parents and could sit playing all day.

The tragedy a few days ago was horrific and it made me very sad for the loss of life. I know that videos games didn’t play any part because it sounds like the shooter, despite playing video games, was a very disturbed person. Fox News used this opportunity to call for a registry to track video game purchases since they think that playing video games are so obviously the problem.

So I will repeat the rant that I’ve said for nearly 15 years. Video games don’t cause violence, people do!

Bullying And How To Help

Me as a child who was bullied

Bullying is one of those hot topics right now as it seems to be rampant across the country. It is one of the topics that I care strongly about because I was a victim of bullying myself when I was younger. Eduction.com has a series of articles with tips to help parents deal with bullying.

I was a short, quiet girl when I was a child. I was also very geeky and didn't really try to go with the crowd at all. This probably made me the ideal target for bullying. When I was in middle school, I became the target of a girl who was much bigger than I was. She would call me names, push me into windows and would smash me in the head with a brush in shop class. It was one of the worst times in my life.

I remember begging my parents not to go to the principal because I didn't want it to get worse. The only place I felt safe at school was in band class, because there were too many people in there for her to beat me up. Finally my parents did go to the principal, and the abuse did finally stop. I did become even more segregated and shunned from my classmates, but it was a relief to not be beat up anymore.

Even though Emily is only four, I’m already worrying about bullying for her. So I was really interested in what Education.com had to say on the subject. They surveyed 500 parents and 500 principles on the subject, and the results were a little scary.

From the Education.com press release:

Parents report that the vast majority (75%) have been involved in bullying in some way (as a bully, victim or witness).

Only about a third of parents feel fully prepared to help their child work through a bullying situation whether the child is a victim (33%), a witness (40%), or a bully (42%).

Only 38% of principles report that they have sufficient resources to effectively implement bullying programs, curricula & policies in their schools.

Because of this survey, Education.com has published some tips for parents. There are tips for all parents to help stop bullying, for parents of kids who are bullied and for parents whose kids are the bullies. These tips may be able to help parents help start a dialogue with their children or even figure out why a bully is doing what they are doing. Because there is usually an underlying reason that needs to be figured out before the bullying can be addressed.

Bullying affects so many people, and it can result in death. This makes it so important to have ways to deal with bullying if it comes up for your child. As a victim myself, I truly hope Emily never has to go through what I did.

Mommy Spider Sense

Emily wasn't a very good sleeper when she was younger. It took a long time for her to be able to sleep through the night. I would wake up whenever she did so I spend a good couple of years really sleep deprived.

She’s nearly five now, and has been sleeping well in her own room for a couple of years. She generally doesn't get up at all unless she has a nightmare or needs to go to the bathroom. Todd is the night owl in the family, so he generally takes care of any nighttime issues.

I was in the middle of a dead sleep in the middle of the night last night when I thought I heard Emily’s door open. It seemed like it was partly in a dream but it bothered me enough that I got up and checked on her. Sure enough, she was awake and upset because she had had a potty accident.

Todd was dozing in the chair as he does nearly every night and hadn't heard a thing. He woke up and we got her calmed down and into clean clothes. He ended up taking over and getting her tucked back in so I could go back to bed since I work early in the morning.

Even though it’s not often anymore, I’m glad I still have my mommy senses from when she was a baby. She was half asleep and really upset when I went into her room. 

The Preschooler At Dragon Con

Beth, me and Emily at Dragon Con 2012

With Dragon Con fast approaching, I thought I'd share my experiences with bringing Emily to the con last year.

Dragon Con has tracks that appeals to all kinds types, but you may wonder if it is appropriate for little geeklings. After I became a parent, I started noticing the kids in strollers and babies in slings all over the con. But I always thought my daughter wouldn't have that great of a time when she was smaller. Last years when she was almost four, I thought it was time to try a partial day at the con.

My daughter had already started to have geeky interests, but one of the biggest is costumes, and not just on her. She loves seeing me dress up as well. When she was 11 months old, I took her to the con just to see the parade. She was okay for most of it, until the zombies came. Ack! That was a big mom failure for me! That incident lead to a lifelong fear of the undead, so she hasn't been back since.

But after seeing the pictures of me in the Dragon*Con parade last year, she asked me to make her a costume so we could march together. It took a while to figure out what costumes to wear. Originally I was going to make her a Kaylee Layer Cake dress from Firefly to match mine and then march with the Whedonverse track like I normally do. But because I decided to march with Kaleidoscope track, I decided to shift our costumes to fit the track a little bit better. My daughter asked to dressed up like Snow White. I was going to dress up like Belle from Beauty and the Beast but those costumes were very expensive. So I ended up being Snow White too since that was the least expensive Disney Princess costume I could find.

She did great on the train ride down to the con and she loved the Kaleidoscope track room since they had a station where she could color while we waited. But then we had to rush to the parade staging area, and that’s when she started to get a little tired.

The weather for the parade is usually mildly warm but this year it was very humid out even at 9:30 in the morning and that affected the day.

She liked seeing all the costumes that were staged around us such as the stormtroopers, the Powerpuff Girls and especially the life-sized My Little Ponies. At one point, Stan Lee was very close to us so I picked her up and pointed him out to her. She didn't really know who he was, so she didn't care. Being that close to a comic genius is lost on a four-year-old, apparently. Poor Stan.

Once the parade started, she didn't want to wave at the crowd and was overwhelmed by all the people. The group in front of us stopped often to conduct a a staged battle with boffer weapons and every time we stopped she would turn to look at the My Little Pony cosplayers that were behind us.

Many times, she asked me to pick her up but because of the heat, I was only able to carry her in short bursts.

We made it through the parade and got our free bottles of water. We headed to the autograph area to meet my husband. While we were waiting, I was able to find us a table to sit at. We drank our water and my daughter played on my phone. Once my husband met us, he carried her since she was tired. We did get an autograph from Rose McGowen, who thought my daughter was cute. Then we headed to the dealer’s room for one last stop.

I've been a fan of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab‘s perfumes for many years and my daughter loves sniffing smellies when I put perfume on. When we got there, my daughter wanted to get down and she asked in a very small voice if she could sniff smellies. The owner of BPAL, Beth Barrial, did even better than let her sniff. She gave my daughter her own little bag of samples and a little pad of paper to draw on.

This was the highlight of my daughter’s Dragon Con experience and the end of her time at the con too. My husband took her back to were we were staying so she could get a nap.

I think she did pretty good, but there were some things I would have done differently. I wish we would have had a stroller since she got tired much faster than I had anticipated. And I think she would have had a better time watching the parade than being in it. But afterwards, my daughter did said that she loved Dragon Con and that she wants to go back next year.

Because she did get so tired so fast, we've opted not to to bring her down to the con this year. We've told her that she needs to be a little older and will bring her back in a couple of years.