Thanks for Being Alive

Image: coolrain44.wordpress.com

Thanks to my Timehop, I figured out that two years ago today was the day that I had my seizures. I don't remember the seizures, but thinking about fills me with dread. Just the fear and confusion that I do remember upon waking in the ICU the day before Thanksgiving is something I wouldn't want to go through again.

So I'm feeling thankful to be alive. I don't think the seizures would have killed me, but it's possible. It's more likely that my demise could have been brought about by all the falling down I did. I had a bunch of bruises that I didn't really notice until I got home from the hospital and one in particular was huge.

Sadly, because my many doctors still have no clue why it happened beyond the mass that was in my brain. And because they don't know what really causes the stupid masses that pop up every once in a while, it's hard to predict if or when another attack might come.

But I forge on, living my life. I'm in a lot better shape than I was even last year at this time. I try to do my best to be able to take care of myself and make myself stronger. This year, I started weight training and that has helped a lot!

There are a lot of things I'm thankful for this holiday season, but being alive is pretty near the top!

A Day of Thanks

We got up bright and early on Thanksgiving morning to make the long trek to GA to spend the holiday at my aunt and uncle's house. My cousins are all married with kids, so there is always a lot of kids for Emily to play with when we go there.

While Todd drove, I managed to find a webcam aerial view of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I'm able to get 4G service for most of the trip now, so I was able to see a bunch of the balloons. I would show them to Emily too. I really love technology.

We got to GA a little before dinner started. The house felt small mostly because the kids are getting so big! It was really great to see everyone. The food was wonderful too, with turkey, ham, homemade stuffing, potatoes, cranberry fruit salad and more. There was a great variety of pies for dessert as well.

The weather was great too so the kids were able to go and play outside for most of the day. The Lions were on the TV but I honestly didn't watch much of it because it was such a massacre.

I'm very thankful that we were able to spend the holiday with family this year!

Things I Am Thankful For

Yes, yes, I know it's almost Christmas and Thanksgiving was a while ago. But I do have a lot to be thankful for and I was stuck in the hospital during Thanksgiving.

Firstly I'm thankful for Todd. He's not a perfect person (no-one is, of course) but he's awesome and caring and perfect for me. He was there for me when I got sick (whenever I get sick) and of course, is a great dad to Miss Emily.

Todd was there for the entirely of my vast and many illnesses. We started dating right around the time when my daily chronic headaches started. He drove me home in a snowstorm from the east side of Michigan to the west because I couldn't drive due to a migraine (I had other friends who drove my car but Todd and I hadn't been dating that long).

And of course I'm thankful for Emily. She's a burst of sunshine in a grey world of disease. I don't think I would every be suicidal but sadly I do understand why people made that decision. But my little girl brightens my world and it's such a joy to watch her grow.

My family is also something I'm very thankful for. They have been really great with all of this health stuff even from Michigan and other places. My aunt Sue and Uncle Gary came all the way from GA to visit me in the hospital. My dad, his wife and my inlaws and my sister and brother in law have been very supportive and helpful even all the way from Michigan. I'm very blessed by a wonderful family!

Thanks to the internet, I have friends all over the word. Of course I'm super thankful for all of them. Especially my GUSP girls (you know who you are!) who have listened to me whist I was in bat shit crazy mode. My friends have really helped me get out of the dumps and keep my spirits up. And yes, even though I've never met most of my friends in person they are still very dear to me.

My job can be stressful, but I'm thankful for that as well. I'm thankfully that I didn't get fired after being in the hospital for 10 days. I'm on many chronic pain support groups and I've heard horror stories. More of why I'm thankful can be found in a previous post but I am super thankful that I still can work and recover at the same time.

Finally I'm thankful for my church. The first time I left the house after I got out of the hospital was to go to women's choir. A friend picked Emily and I up since Todd was at work. I felt so much more human and it was nice to be among people again. While I was in the hospital and for a couple weeks after, I was on the prayer list. And my pastor called me a few time as well as asked how I was in church. Church is pretty much the only reason I leave the house right now and it really is a blessing.

I may have forgotten some things, but I'm thankful I'm alive, out of the hospital and able celebrate Christmas!