Friday, October 16, 2015

Why I'm Pro Choice

I'm not usually very political here on my blog, but as the election season is ramping up you may see more blogs of this kind. You may not too, I'm chaotic after all.

One of the hot button topics right now is abortion and Planned Parenthood. I'm pro choice for a variety of reasons that I'll go into, but first and foremost, I'm pro choice because of a conversation I had with my mom many years ago.

I was a teenager and while I was spouting against abortion, my mom sat me down. I remember it very clearly - we were sitting in our dining room. She explained to me how important it was for women to have a choice because pregnancy isn't easy and can be fatal. She also told me a story about when she was younger how she had went with a friend to have an abortion. It was a hard choice for my mom's friend but it was the best one that she could make for her situation.

I'll always remember that conversation. I think that marked a point in my life where I tried to look at all angles of an issue before making up my mind about it.

Birth control is great, but it fails so abortions should be available when that happens. I'm not super thrilled with abortion as the only form of birth control, but I highly doubt that sort of issue makes up most abortions.

But it is so important that women have the choice if something horrible happens. If the mom's life is in danger or if the child isn't alive anymore, a women should be able to decide what they want to do. A women's life shouldn't be undervalued just because she is pregnant. And what an awful thing to do, to make a woman carry a child who isn't alive or won't live once they are born!

While some woman might choose to remain pregnant in some situations, the choice needs to be up to the individual woman. Women aren't second class citizens, and for most, the choice to abort is one that isn't come to easily or even quickly.

I've never had an abortion but I've thought a lot about it. Todd and I are very careful but birth control isn't 100%. Hopefully we'll be able to do something permanent to prevent pregnancy, because I don't think I could handle being pregnant now.

I had my chronic pain when I was pregnant with Emily and I honestly hated being pregnant. It was worth it, because I wanted Emily. So I endured ten months of being sick on top of my regular issues. I'm quite happy to be Emily's mom but my chronic pain issues have gotten worse over the years. For me, my choice is not to be pregnant, no matter what. Because my life matters.

When Emily was a toddler, I had a miscarriage. It isn't something I usually talk about because I feel a little guilty because I was in a lot of pain, physically, when it happened, but I was completely and utterly relieved emotionally. Things were hard the first couple of years that Emily was here, from postpartum depression to finding myself out of a job after my maternity leave was over. I was barely hanging on and having another child would have been awful.

It may make me seem like an awful person, but that's how I felt and how I feel. It was only a few months after I had that miscarriage that I landed myself in the hospital with the first mass in my brain. That incident was hard enough but add on being pregnant at the same time, it would have be horrible.

While I became pro choice all those years ago with that talk from my mom, my experiences have have just strengthened my position. My life matters, and as a fully formed adult, I should be able to make informed choices about the state of my body. Every woman should be able to make those choices. If you don't like abortion, don't have one. But please, don't take away my right to choose what's best for me and my family.

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