Rough Holiday

Yesterday was Mother's Day, which is always bittersweet. But usually it's not too hard. My mom has been gone for 15 years and I am the mom of a sweet little girl. But yesterday was rough. I think it was partly due to that time of the month compounded with perimenopause.

Todd and Emily were very sweet to me. I got presents and ice cream. We had also gone out for Japanese food on Saturday, to avoid the Mother's Day rush. But as the day waned on, the sadder I got.

But I know I wasn't the only one having a rough time yesterday. Lots of friends have lost their moms due to death or toxic relationships. As people age, holidays morph and change. Mother's Day was fun when I was a kid, but I didn't experience a lot of loss until I was grown up.

If you had a rough day yesterday, be gentle with yourself today!

Motherless Mother's Day

Mother's Day is quickly approaching so TV and internet are filled with ads with stuff to get your mom. Even though I am a mom, this holiday is always really depressing for me because my mom is passed away.

I really feel for everyone who has a hard time with Mother's Day. Those like me who have lost their mom, those who have lost kids of their own and those who struggle with infertility. This Sunday will be rough for a lot of people.

I am a mom, but I find it hard to focus on myself. This year seems to be worse for some reason. The commercialism on TV are making me weepy as is the Mother's Day stuff Emily keeps bringing home from school. At this point, I'll be glad when Sunday is over with.

My mom was a great mom and she would have been an excellent grandmother. She would have adored Emily to bits. Unfortunately, cancer cut her life way too short - she was only 51 when she passed away.

My life has been a good one but there is a big hole in it without my mom. I am thankful to have a great step-mom and mother in law, but I'll always miss my mom.

If you are hurting this Mother's Day, know you aren't alone. My heart is hurting too.