Stuffed Animals & Adults

The above tweet was one of many that I tweeted and retweeted last night in the wake of Robin William' passing. I had just put Emily to bed when I found out and Todd was at work. I snuggled into bed with my stuffed puppy though for something to hug.

I'm sure many people think stuffed animals are just for kids. I loved them when I was young and my Pooh was so loved that he is flat now. Even though college and beyond, I always liked sleeping with a stuffed animal. I liked hugging something that didn't wiggle like a person did.

Several years ago, Emily gave me one of her bears and he was dubbed Chronic Pain Bear. When Todd went into the hospital and was diagnosed with MS earlier this year, we gave Chronic Pain Bear to him. Emily gave me a new stuffed animal who was renamed Chronic Pain Puppy.

We all sleep with our respective stuffed animals. Emily's favorites change. Right now her favorite is a tiger that she named White Ninja. But it was a comfort to me to have Chronic Pain Puppy to snuggle while I was grieving

Depression and Suicide

Image: wikipedia.com

I've been reading Emily a chapter of Coraline most nights, which has been making our bedtime routine a little longer than it previously has been. I was offline for about a half hour doing bedtime things with her - potty, teeth, story, song, prayers and finally tuckering her in.

I did what I do most nights and I opened up Facebook on my phone to find that Robin Williams had been found dead of an apparent suicide. I had no idea that he had been suffering from depression.

He made up a lot of bits of my childhood. I remember watching him in Mork and Mindy as a very small child. I loved him as the genie in Aladdin and as Peter Pan in Hook. He was just a great, great entertainer.

Depression is a serious disease and it breaks my heart that it has claimed another life. I never really understood depression until I started having issues with it myself. I've talked about my struggles with depression before.

Depression drains you of hope, but like The Bloggess says, depression lies. Depression tells you that you are worthless, that life isn't worth it. But there is hope out there.

There can be such a stigma with taking antidepressants but I don't understand why. When I finally got help when I had postpartum depression, it was like a veil had been lifted. I had been in darkness for eight months and didn't realize something was wrong because depression wants you to think that it's the norm.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I still am on antidepressants. I suffer from depression and anxiety - those little pills that I take help me lead a happier life.

My thoughts and prayers are with Robin Williams and his loved ones tonight. It makes my heart ache that he felt he had to take that final step. But I truly hope that he is at peace now.