Thoughts on Fat Thor (Avengers:Endgame Spoilers!)

I've seen Avengers: Endgame twice now - I loved it, and I'll probably go see it again. But I keep seeing posts about the direction that Endgame took Thor. Thor has never been my favorite Avengers but I had some thoughts I thought I'd share.

Spoilers for Endgame - don't read any further if you don't want to be spoiled!!

I thought Thor was brilliant and not a joke. It was a bit of shock for sure to see him all fat and drunk, but honestly it made a lot of sense for me.

Thor has had it rough. Both of his parents died, his mother died violently. Seemingly Loki is dead for good this time. Heimdall was murdered in front of him by Thanos, right after Asgard was destroyed with more death, including two of his friends from the Warriors Three.

Thor was struggling in Infinity War, but trying to put a brave face on it. After the Snap, he just fell into the depths of some serious PTSD. And instead of seeking out help, he drowned his sorrows in alcohol.

Beyond the first scene in new Asgard, no jokes were really made about him. Yeah, Tony make the Big Lewbowski comment, but that was just Tony being Tony. Rocket was not very gentle with him, but Rocket was hyper focused on the mission because he lost everything too.

The scene with Thor and his mom was brilliant, even the "eat a salad" line, because that isn't a joke - it's such a mom thing to say. She was super concerned about him, both mentally and physically.

And then Thor begging to be the one to snap everyone back, just showed how bad his PTSD was. The guilt he had and his overwhelming need to fix it. It showed what a complex character Thor was, and let's be honest, he was a bit one-dimensional in the beginning.

In the end, Thor is still a bit lost. I think him going with the Guardians will be good for him, though may annoy Peter to no end. His fatness was just a symptom of his overwhelming conflicted mental state.

As someone who is fat and has mental illness, I thought he was well done. His teammates didn't mock him, but I'm sure where concerned. 

Bikini Body

Like a lot of women, I have had body issues since I was younger. My mom was super skinny, but I didn't get her genes. I got the genes from my dad's side of the family. I'm all curves but I also have a tendency to be overweight. Add in the fact that I was never very active, and I've never been skinny since I hit puberty.

My mom caused a lot of my body issues. I know she meant well but she would talk consistently about how I was overweight and how she wanted me to lose weight. It was hard to hear from someone who I loved so much and from someone who was skinny without trying.

As a teenager, I preferred to read, watch TV and play video games than be active at all. I did play soccer and softball, but I didn't really enjoy it. When I went to college, I was in the best shape of my life because I had no car and had to walk everywhere.

Once I had a car and especially once I was done with college, I started getting rounder. I would try to work out but my chronic pain made that sporadic at best. But I didn't think I looked that bad - I did know that I wouldn't look good in things that were tight fitting so I steered away from things like that.

I got pregnant with Emily and I lost a ton of weight during my first trimester. Being pregnant is the only time when you are suppose to have a fat belly and even though I didn't enjoy being pregnant, I liked the way I looked.

But since Emily was born via c-section, my stomach now is not great. The years after Emily was born, I was at my highest weight ever. I have been able to lose quite a bit in the last year or so, but I'm still a far cry from my college days.

Since it's summer, there have been posts and memes floating around the internet about body acceptance. I try to be happy with my body - Emily and Todd think I'm beautiful and I don't think I'm ugly. But I still sometimes hear my mom's words ringing in my ears.

Yesterday I was doing some cleaning in my room and Emily was in there. I found an old bikini from my college days and I tried it on for the fun of it. It fit though I had some boob leakage issues.

Emily kissed my tummy and told me that I should wear it, that I should show my tummy. She's only five but hearing her say that really made me realize that my body is fine. I'll never be thin because my body shape, but I will continue to exercise and stay fit.

I had her take a picture of me in the bikini, though I don't think I'll wear it to the pool today. I'd be afraid of having wardrobe malfunction because the top is tight. But I think on my way to being more accepting of my body and maybe I'll get a bikini whenever I get a new swimsuit.

Tales of a Fat Cosplayer - Curves and Hotness

 Last year, I wrote a post about how even though I'm overweight I enjoying wearing costumes and cosplaying. It was in response some comments made on Heroes of Cosplay. But I found that I have more to say on the subject.

Ever since Todd was diagnosed with MS, we changed our diet as a family. Todd lost a ton - he actually lost about as much weight as Emily weighs. I lost too but not as much thanks to being a women. But I have been noticing my clothes have been fitting a lot looser.

I have a Kaylee costume that has a light blue Asian jacket. The jacket always fit a bit snug, especially tight in the arms. I went to a Browncoat picnic a couple of weeks ago and I Kaylee-fied myself because we were going to film spots for the Browncoat Ball.

The jacket wasn't tight at all! It fit great! 

We don't have any long mirrors in our house so when I want to get a look of most of me, I have to stand on the toilet. This was a little dangerous when I was pregnant, and one of the reasons there are very few pictures of me during that time.

I was curious though so I got up there and my shape is changing for the better! I still have a pudgy belly, but looking at me front on I'm just all curves, with a killer hourglass shape going on. My thought was, "I'd be hot... if I lived in another time period."

Never in my life have I thought I was hot or gorgeous. I'm short and round, which isn't super attractive in this day and age. But in years past people have wore huge hoop skirts to try and emulate what God gave me. Too bad I live in a time period where thin and tall is in vogue.

But I'll be rocking a costume this weekend at Atlanta's first Wizard World. I may be a fat cosplayer but at least I have some awesome curves to go with the fat.

The Tale of a Fat Cosplayer

Me as American McGee's Alice

As a child, I loved Halloween and being in plays in part because of the costumes. I never grew out of wanting to dress up and pretending so it’s a very good thing I’m a geek. But I've also never been skinny at all. As I got older, I got wider for a variety of reasons. I try to exercise as much as I can, but chronic pain issues can get in the way. Despite this, I still cosplay.

I am a fat cosplayer.

My husband and I have been watching Heroes of Cosplay on SyFy. We both like the show because the costumes are beautiful. But it seems like there is a lot of focus put on perfection and less on the fun. In the first episode, it showed one of the cosplayers freaking out because she had gained some weight. In the second episode, a newbie to cosplay competitions said that she thought anyone should cosplay what they wanted. She got looks from the experienced cosplayers like she was crazy. One said that if someone is going to be 300 lbs. and cosplay, they are going to get negative comments.

I've been cosplaying on and off for about 15 years. I've never been skinny but I've never gotten negative comments before. Even if I did, I probably would just ignore it because I love cosplaying. Now I do try to pick costumes that won’t make me look fatter than I am. I never wear skin tight or skin showing costumes because I wouldn't be comfortable and it wouldn't look good.

Cosplaying is fun and that’s why I do it. Even though I’m overweight, I’m going to keep cosplaying. I already have all my costumes planned for Dragon Con and I’ll be walking in the parade again. I'll also be admiring everyone else's costumes - fat or thin.