Thanks for Being Alive

Image: coolrain44.wordpress.com

Thanks to my Timehop, I figured out that two years ago today was the day that I had my seizures. I don't remember the seizures, but thinking about fills me with dread. Just the fear and confusion that I do remember upon waking in the ICU the day before Thanksgiving is something I wouldn't want to go through again.

So I'm feeling thankful to be alive. I don't think the seizures would have killed me, but it's possible. It's more likely that my demise could have been brought about by all the falling down I did. I had a bunch of bruises that I didn't really notice until I got home from the hospital and one in particular was huge.

Sadly, because my many doctors still have no clue why it happened beyond the mass that was in my brain. And because they don't know what really causes the stupid masses that pop up every once in a while, it's hard to predict if or when another attack might come.

But I forge on, living my life. I'm in a lot better shape than I was even last year at this time. I try to do my best to be able to take care of myself and make myself stronger. This year, I started weight training and that has helped a lot!

There are a lot of things I'm thankful for this holiday season, but being alive is pretty near the top!

A Happy Life

When I was growing up, I always imagined myself in a big house, with lots of kids and of course a handsome husband. It's funny how things are different than what I thought, but as I approach 40 my goal is to have a happy life.

My house isn't big, but honestly I wouldn't want it much bigger because that would be more space I'd have to keep clean. Our house has enough room for the 3 of us, plus the cats, along will all of Emily's stuff (mine and Todd's too but she has more!)

My marriage is happy, even after nearly ten years. I adore Todd and he seems to be fond of me too, of course. Our family was completed many years ago with the birth of Miss Emily and we have three cats who are her furry, little siblings.

Todd mostly likes his job. Like most people, he has bad days and good. I really don't like my job but I'm able to work part-time which gives me time to do other things as well as rest when I need to. Of course, I do have chronic pain and Todd has MS. But I try and not let my pain get me too down. Plus Todd's been in remission since the initial diagnosis so he tends to ignore it.

Emily is a happy kid. She has lots of friends at school, loves learning and loves being a Girl Scout. It's a joy to be her mom and watch her grow. But I'm glad there is just one of her. One and done as far as kids go works best for us.

We don't make a ton of money but we make enough to be able to do fun things. We go to conventions, mostly Dragon Con, and Disney World. We are hoping to make it over to Italy in about five years. Todd wants to start seeing the world. I want to start visiting the Disney parks around the world, so same thing.

I suffer from depression and anxiety so some days the clouds get really dark and stormy in my head. But all in all, I have a happy life. It's something to remember on the not so good days.

Rest in Peace Aunt Dorothy

Aunt Dorothy and my cousin Boomer at my wedding

When I was very small, my dad's mom passed away from cancer. So while I only had one grandmother, I had two great aunts on my dad's who filled the grandma gap. Yesterday, I got the message that my Great Aunt Dorothy had passed away.

It's hard to talk about Aunt Dorothy without mentioning her sister Jackie. They were a pair throughout my childhood. When I was pretty young, we moved across the state because of a job my dad had gotten. When we would go back to Bay City, we would often stay with my Aunt Jackie. Even if we didn't stay there, we'd see both of them, usually at Jackie's house.

I do remember being at Aunt Dorothy's house - it was really cute and she actually had a rotary phone in her kitchen. I remember being very young and actually staying at her house one afternoon. I remember being put down for a nap, but not wanting to sleep. Just wanting to look around the room.

Aunt Dorothy was always happy, always smiling despite the hand life had dealt her. Her first husband died very young, leaving her and her small kids. Her second husband was abusive, but she was strong and stood up against him, leaving him. 

For many years, she's had a lot of health issues. I want to be like her when I grow up - happy despite the health issues. She also could do the splits all the way down even into her 80's which is a feat I couldn't do even when I was a teenager.

I feel very happy that I got to talk to her one last time on Easter. She sounds the same has she's done my entire life and she sounded like she was happy. I'll miss her, my dear Aunt Dorothy, but I'll cherish the memories I have - like of her dancing at my wedding.

June is Migraine Awareness Month

Image: http://www.achenet.org/

Over the course of this month, I've been blogging about my experiences with migraines and chronic pain. I kind of grouped them together because it is migraine awareness months but I didn't plan any of them out in advance. They all came from things happening in my life.

Migraines are a part of my life, so I will continue to blog about it as things come up. I hope that my posts this month have been enlightening and interesting to some people.

Here's the list of all the migraine post from this month, in case you missed one!

A Day in The Life With Chronic Migraines

The Worst Superpower

Chronic Pain and Being a Shut-In

Being A Parent With Chronic Pain