Kids and Dragon Con

Dragon Con 2012

Dragon Con is coming up at the end of this month, and 80K+ people will descend onto downtown Atlanta. And some of those people will be kids.

I, of course, am the mom of a child. And even though Emily is 9, she will not be joining us for Dragon Con this year. There are several reasons why we choose not to bring her. For one, Dragon Con is overwhelming for adults and I know that it can be for kids as well.

You see, Emily has been down at Dragon Con a couple of times. The first time, we brought her down for the parade when she was 11 months old. She was ok, until the Netherworld (a local haunted house) float rolled on by. She got scared and just started wailing, so we headed out.

The 2nd time was when she was 3, almost 4 years old. She came down to Dragon Con with us to march in the parade. She did really good but soon just got tired and cranky. Todd took her back to my aunt and uncle's after the parade and we decided then that she would have to be much older before she returned to Dragon Con.

In the years since, she's gone to quite a few smaller cons. Lexington Comic Con, SC Comicon and ConCarolinas just this year. And she does great there, but still we choose to leave her with the kind local relatives who watch her while we are at the con.

I personally don't think little kids belong at Dragon Con. It's just too much, and I'm sure that it's hard for the parents to juggle the things they want to do while taking care of their kids. I'm sure there are people out there who disagree with me. I'm also one of those people who would never bring a baby or toddler to Disney World.

If you choose to bring your kids, be warned. It's crowded, there is tons of walking you and your kids will have to do. There are going to be spots where it's going to be hard to get a stroller through, especially if it's a big one.

Other things to look out for are costumes that show a lot of skin and some costumes that could be scary to kids. Most cosplayers wait until after dark to wear their racier costumes, but there is still some that might not be entirely appropriate for kids during the day. Just depends on your parenting style and how sensitive your kids might be to scary stuff.

For parents who want to go to Dragon Con, but have to bring their kids, I'd recommend getting a room in one of the host hotels or someplace close. That way you have somewhere to go when your kids start getting overwhelmed and cranky. Otherwise, get familiar with the Kaleidoscope track that has lots of programming geared towards kids.

And next year, we will have the child in tow for Sunday only. I think she may be a teenager before she gets to come on Saturday, unless she wants to march in the parade with me. She wants to go, but she doesn't really understand the scope of what Dragon Con is. Especially the way her dad does Dragon Con - running around to get autographs and look at the dealers room all the while going fast without stopping for a lot of breaks.

Just things to consider if you are thinking about bringing your kids to Dragon Con!

Holding Hands and Growing Up

Image: www.acclaimclipart.com

Tomorrow is the 4th of July and I have a lot of memories of spending this holiday with family. Growing up my uncle was the head of the FOP in my parent's hometown and he was in charge of the fireworks show every year.

Quite a few years, we'd get to sit in the special "police and families only" area which was the best seat in the house. The fireworks were very popular so downtown was always extremely crowded. And even though we had a place to watch the fireworks, finding parking was always hard to do.

One 4th of July we had a long walk back to our car. It was very crowded and I happened to be holding my mom's hand. I was probably at least 14 years old, maybe a little older. And the sight of two females holding hands caused some drunken guys to start catcalling and making fun of us.

My mom shut them down pretty quickly - she didn't take crap from anyway. But I was very embarrassed and I refused to hold her hand again. I don't think I ever held her hand while walking for the rest of her life which is something that now that I'm older makes me profoundly sad.

Kids hold hands all the time. They hold hands with each other, with their teachers and their parents. There is nothing wrong with it. But as we age, seemingly holding hands becomes something more. Something only to do with your boyfriend / girlfriend. Something sort of sexual which thinking about in a logical way seems a bit crazy.

I asked my own daughter what she would do if someone made fun of the two of us holding hands. She looked at me like I had two heads and said she'd yell at them and still hold my hand. I think she has more than a little of my mother in her.

Since my mom is no longer here, I'd encourage everyone to hold hands with those they love before they are gone. I shouldn't have been embarrassed that day long ago. She was my mom! And even if she hadn't been, there is nothing wrong with two girls holding hands for comfort, for love and for safety.

The Slipperiness of Kids

Image: pregnancyhumor.com

I'm sure everyone who has internet access has seen the story of how a Gorilla was killed at the Cincinnati Zoo because a four year old got away from his mother and went into the enclosure. Of course this caused a lot of internet rage to rise up. People were very up in arms that the gorilla was shot even though, from what I read, the boy had serious injuries after they were able to rescue him. And of course, all sorts of awful things were said about the mother.

As a mother, I feel so badly for that boy's mom. Kids are crazy slippery creatures and can make a break for it the second you have your attention elsewhere. And unlike the internet hordes think, it is simply impossible to have your eyes on your kids every second.

Thankfully, I haven't ever lost Emily in a scary place like that. When she was that age, I had a harness for her because I was super paranoid about losing her. It was cute and had bat wings. Of course, there are people out there who think leases on toddlers makes them more like pets than people. I didn't give a crap what they thought though.

I do remember a story from my childhood. I was only about five or six years old. My sister is 18 months younger than I am, and was about three when we all went down to GA to visit my dad's brother and his family.

We went to Six Flags over GA while we were there. I think my aunt and uncle only had two kids at that time, and then my parents had me and my sister. So it was a pretty even adult to kid ratio. Despite this, my three year old sister wandered off. She didn't even know she was lost but it took our party a good fifteen minutes to find her.

I was little and I still remember this. I'm sure my mom remembered that until the day she died. Now that I'm a mom, I can't imagine the fear she must have felt while we were looking for my sister. Thankfully our story turned out okay.

And even though a gorilla died, the child's life was preserved. I know some people might not see it that way, but the zoo did what they had to save the child. And I'm sure that mom is beating herself up more than any nasty comment on the internet can. Her kid was hurt because of it!

So my prayers go out to that family and I hope no lasting damage happens to that little boy or his family. Parents are human too and it only take a second for a curious child to slip away.

Breaks, Kids and Me Time

This article popped up on my Facebook feed today - I want all the perks of maternity leave — without having any kids. 

This quote from the article really sums it up. "But the more I thought about it, the more I came to believe in the value of a “meternity” leave — which is, to me, a sabbatical-like break that allows women and, to a lesser degree, men to shift their focus to the part of their lives that doesn’t revolve around their jobs."

This idea what maternity leave is a break of any kind makes me mad and makes me want to laugh at the same time. My maternity leave wasn't a break at all. I was recovering from my c-section, which is major surgery. Plus I had this tiny baby who would wake up every couple of hours and need to be fed and changed.

My husband went back to work only a few days after Emily was born, so I didn't get a lot of help. The entire time that I was on maternity leave (before I got laid off and became a stay at home mom for a while), I was so sleep deprived that I could hardly think.

Maternity leave is not a sabbatical, it's not a break of any sort and honestly it should be paid leave and longer. But that's another post for another time. If someone wants the 'perks' of maternity leave without kids, they should have to have an alarm clock go off every couple of hours in order to get up like new moms and dads have to.

Yes, I chose to have a kid, but that doesn't mean I didn't deserve that 8 weeks of time in order to recover and get used to this whole new person. Maybe in some offices kids mean you get out of work earlier or that you might decide on a different career field because of kids, but that doesn't mean it's unfair to those who have, either by choice or design, no kids.

I work from home doing tech support. I make decent money and I'm off work once my daughter gets home. I value her and being her mom more than having a career. And lots of moms are able to juggle more kids and a career so it's possible.

Parenting is hard, but it is at it's most exhausting and draining those first few months of a child's life. If you think maternity leave is a break, then I suggest you volunteer to watch a newborn for a few hours (if you know anyone who is willing to let you watch their baby) and just imagine what it would feel like to take care of a tiny baby while recovering from birthing said baby.

Breaks and me time are good. One of the reasons I only have one kid is because I need me time every once in a while. Everyone needs me time, but that's not something that happens when you have a new baby.

Old Fashioned Summer

When I was a kid, there was not a lot of structure to our summers. I didn't go to day camp until I was in middle school and even then it was just a week, like VBS. Most of my summer involved just playing.

I remember playing in the forest behind my neighbor's house, pretending we were in Herself the Elf's kingdom. I remember riding my bike with my sister and our friends to the church (because for some reason there was a church right in the middle of our otherwise residential neighborhood). We would do races on our bikes, play cops and robbers and make up stories that the church was a castle.

There would be reading in the shade and playing with toys in the cool basement when it got too hot. We'd run through the sprinklers and just have fun. This seems to be an oddity these days.

Seemingly, a lot of kids have a lot of scheduled activities during the summer now. Camp and lessons seem to abound. But Emily is having a very old fashioned summer.

She's been spending her days playing outside with the little girl next door and other kids in the neighborhood. Usually by the time she gets in at night she smells like dirt and sweat which is actually not unpleasant - it sends me back to my own childhood.

Later in the summer she will go to our church's version of VBS. And she will be taking a week's worth swimming lessons but mostly she'll be playing outside, making up stories, getting dirty and just having fun.

Videos Games Don't Cause Violence!

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone blames a tragedy on video games. When I was in college, Columbine happened. There was a lot of talk about how violent video games were a large part of why Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold committed this heinous act of violence. I was broadcasting major at the time and I spoke at length in my classes how video games were not to blame.

I’m an avid video gamer and I like games that can be a little on the violent side. My husband, who wouldn't hurt a fly, loves the first person shooter games. We've both been gamers since we were kids, like a lot of people in our generation. Since Columbine, every time that there is a shooting someone in the media tries to blame it on videos games which I think is ridiculous. Especially since neither of us has felt the urge to go shoot up anywhere despite hundreds of hours shooting things in video games.

More and more people play video games now than they did in the late 90’s, so if video games were to blame, there should be a lot more of these violent attacks. The blame should be put squarely on the shoulders of the person responsible – the person who did the shooting.

Banning videos games or monitoring who buys them isn't going to do anything. Now I do think parents should be active in their kids’ lives and make sure they are monitoring what kinds of games they play. Emily is nearly five and she’s already a big games. But she plays things like Kinect Disneyland Adventures or the Toy Story 3 game. We also limit her time that she can play video games because she’s like her parents and could sit playing all day.

The tragedy a few days ago was horrific and it made me very sad for the loss of life. I know that videos games didn’t play any part because it sounds like the shooter, despite playing video games, was a very disturbed person. Fox News used this opportunity to call for a registry to track video game purchases since they think that playing video games are so obviously the problem.

So I will repeat the rant that I’ve said for nearly 15 years. Video games don’t cause violence, people do!

Why I'm Not a Brony

Emily with Twilight Sparkle 

I’m going to start out this post by saying I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a brony. I think if I was younger and/or didn't have a young child, I would be a brony. But there is a reason why I'm  not.

When I was a kid, I loved My Little Pony. Not so much the TV show but the actual toys. My favorite was a pink Pegasus pony that I played with all the time. When the new show came out, Emily was a toddler. She was really into shows like Dora that were not fun at all for me to watch. So we caught My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic when we could because it’s a much better show than Dora.

She didn't like it as much when it first came on, because I think she was a little young for it. But now that she’s nearly five years old, it’s one of her favorite shows. We go through periods where we watch a lot of ponies. She just got the new Equestria Girls movie a few days ago and we've already watched it several times.

Because I watch My Little Pony with Emily, I have no desire to watch it when she’s not around. I think this is the main reason I’m not a brony. While I don’t mind watch ponies, after watching the Too Many Pinkie Pies episode again and again, I’m a little turned off by it.

I can understand why other people are bronies though – it’s a very good show. There is just too much of a good thing sometimes, especially when you are the parent of a preschooler.

Bullying And How To Help

Me as a child who was bullied

Bullying is one of those hot topics right now as it seems to be rampant across the country. It is one of the topics that I care strongly about because I was a victim of bullying myself when I was younger. Eduction.com has a series of articles with tips to help parents deal with bullying.

I was a short, quiet girl when I was a child. I was also very geeky and didn't really try to go with the crowd at all. This probably made me the ideal target for bullying. When I was in middle school, I became the target of a girl who was much bigger than I was. She would call me names, push me into windows and would smash me in the head with a brush in shop class. It was one of the worst times in my life.

I remember begging my parents not to go to the principal because I didn't want it to get worse. The only place I felt safe at school was in band class, because there were too many people in there for her to beat me up. Finally my parents did go to the principal, and the abuse did finally stop. I did become even more segregated and shunned from my classmates, but it was a relief to not be beat up anymore.

Even though Emily is only four, I’m already worrying about bullying for her. So I was really interested in what Education.com had to say on the subject. They surveyed 500 parents and 500 principles on the subject, and the results were a little scary.

From the Education.com press release:

Parents report that the vast majority (75%) have been involved in bullying in some way (as a bully, victim or witness).

Only about a third of parents feel fully prepared to help their child work through a bullying situation whether the child is a victim (33%), a witness (40%), or a bully (42%).

Only 38% of principles report that they have sufficient resources to effectively implement bullying programs, curricula & policies in their schools.

Because of this survey, Education.com has published some tips for parents. There are tips for all parents to help stop bullying, for parents of kids who are bullied and for parents whose kids are the bullies. These tips may be able to help parents help start a dialogue with their children or even figure out why a bully is doing what they are doing. Because there is usually an underlying reason that needs to be figured out before the bullying can be addressed.

Bullying affects so many people, and it can result in death. This makes it so important to have ways to deal with bullying if it comes up for your child. As a victim myself, I truly hope Emily never has to go through what I did.

Tips for a Stress-Free Road Trip With Small Kids

A time machine would make road trips easier

The idea of taking a long car trip with young kids might make some parents nervous. I was lucky because my daughter has always tolerated long road trips well. While this could be partly because of her temperament, I do think some of the things we did when she was very small helped her be a good traveler.

My first tip would be to start early. My daughter went on her first road trip when she was very small. Our closest family lives several hours away, so we started with that short trip. But when she was eight months old, we made the big trip up to Michigan, which was a 13 hour trip. I was a little worried but my daughter did great. I think those earlier, shorter trips really helped.

Another tip is to make lots of stops. We tend to travel in the summer, so my husband bought a cooler that was powered through the cigarette lighter outlet in our car. So we could stop at rest stops instead of fast food places. We were able to have a decent meal of sandwiches as well as giving my daughter a change to run around and play out of the car for a little while. When we travel in the winter, we try to find restaurants that have play areas to let her play a bit during the trip.

And finally, toys and books are necessary for long car trips. My daughter has a great ability for keeping herself amused when we take road trips, but I always pack her a bag with extra toys and books. I try and get her something new for the really long trips to help keep her occupied. With all of these tips, we have been able to take many stress-free road trips with my three year old daughter.

Do you have any good road trip tips when traveling with kids?