Saturday, August 17, 2013

Bullying And How To Help

Me as a child who was bullied
Bullying is one of those hot topics right now as it seems to be rampant across the country. It is one of the topics that I care strongly about because I was a victim of bullying myself when I was younger. has a series of articles with tips to help parents deal with bullying.
I was a short, quiet girl when I was a child. I was also very geeky and didn't really try to go with the crowd at all. This probably made me the ideal target for bullying. When I was in middle school, I became the target of a girl who was much bigger than I was. She would call me names, push me into windows and would smash me in the head with a brush in shop class. It was one of the worst times in my life.
I remember begging my parents not to go to the principal because I didn't want it to get worse. The only place I felt safe at school was in band class, because there were too many people in there for her to beat me up. Finally my parents did go to the principal, and the abuse did finally stop. I did become even more segregated and shunned from my classmates, but it was a relief to not be beat up anymore.
Even though Emily is only four, I’m already worrying about bullying for her. So I was really interested in what had to say on the subject. They surveyed 500 parents and 500 principles on the subject, and the results were a little scary.
From the press release:
Parents report that the vast majority (75%) have been involved in bullying in some way (as a bully, victim or witness).
Only about a third of parents feel fully prepared to help their child work through a bullying situation whether the child is a victim (33%), a witness (40%), or a bully (42%).
Only 38% of principles report that they have sufficient resources to effectively implement bullying programs, curricula & policies in their schools.
Because of this survey, has published some tips for parents. There are tips for all parents to help stop bullying, for parents of kids who are bullied and for parents whose kids are the bullies. These tips may be able to help parents help start a dialogue with their children or even figure out why a bully is doing what they are doing. Because there is usually an underlying reason that needs to be figured out before the bullying can be addressed.
Bullying affects so many people, and it can result in death. This makes it so important to have ways to deal with bullying if it comes up for your child. As a victim myself, I truly hope Emily never has to go through what I did.


  1. I feel for you. I was bullied in elementary school, but each time it was a different person who never bullied me again, but then a few weeks later someone new would ruin my day and destroy my sense of safety. In middle school, I had a few one-time-only bullies, but then there was a girl two grades older than I was who would trip me where we had a jagged rock-and-brick ledge, trying to get me to break my teeth on it. At the time I was part of a peer-mediator group and it made me realize why people didn't come to us. My mom got involved, even though I'm not sure how she found out, and we were taken to the principle's office to 'talk it out'. I denied everything, because she never hurt me in front of adult witnesses, and often not even in front of other kids, so I knew the next time she saw me it would be worse and again, there would be no witnesses.

    My denying everything kept her from going after me, and the fact that she's was brought to the principle's office deterred her and she never bothered me again aside from the occasional cruel remark.

    Bullying can lead to life-long injuries and death, as you say. It was just luck and swimmer's reflexes that kept me from wiping out and bashing my brain in when she tripped me by that jagged ledge.

    Bullying doesn't always end after you leave school, either; though often it is less physical. :(

    1. I'm so sorry you had to deal with bullying too and scary - I'm glad you didn't bash your brain in.

      I don't remember if anyone caught her in the act - though I do remember her hitting me in shop class. I don't remember her getting in trouble for it, so the teacher must not have noticed.

      I'm worried for Emily already - but she's got Todd's personality and already sticks up for herself thank goodness.