Be A Good Samaritan

Election years seem to bring out the worst in people and this year seems to especially so. The hate that people are spewing really is sad and discouraging. A local story that really highlighted this attitude made national attention yesterday.

It's the story of the tow truck driver and the disabled woman. If you haven't heard it, basically a woman got in an accident in Asheville on her way back to SC. A tow truck driver was called to tow her car, but decided not to because she had a Bernie Sanders bumper sticker.

Image: funny-pictures.picphotos.net

The tow truck driver says that the Lord told him to strand this woman on the side of a very busy highway - all he knew about her was that she was in the need of help and was a Bernie supporter. From everything I've read, he's very impressed with himself for being such a good "Christian".

In fact, he's basically the opposite of a good Christian, good person and whatnot. And I don't really consider this a political issues, it's a common human decency issue. In fact, what Jesus taught in the parable of the Good Samaritan was just the opposite.

You can read the whole passage here, but the end is what really speaks to me especially with this story.

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
 Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

Even if you are of another religion or don't believe in a higher power at all, it's a good thing for society in general to follow Wheaton's Law, which is simply put - Don't be a dick. In the case of this story, the tow truck driver backpedaled a little when he found out that the woman was disabled. He said that if he had realized that, he would have waited with her until another tow truck driver came.

My thought is, what good would that have done? She was still stranded on the side of the road, stuck in her car. And no matter who it was, healthy, ill, male, female, white, person of color, gay, straight, etc. People are people and they deserve to be treated with even a hint of human decency.

Hate is an easy path to go down. It's easy to hate people who are different or whose choices you don't understand. Love can be a harder path because there are going to be people you just clash with for whatever reason. If someone is making choices that you don't agree with, the decent thing to do is to let them be unless they are harming themselves or others. Even doing that little bit and trying to be kind to your fellow humans, and the world would be a better place.

Faith in the Face of Chronic Pain

Seemingly, some of my fellow Christians seem have have lost their way in recent years. It makes my heart sad to see people who should be espousing the love that Jesus shows to all of us, instead trying to use Jesus and the Bible as a way to keep on hating.

A common theme in quite a few Christian groups I've been in over the years is that if you are good person and follow God's law, good things will happen. It's the "God as a Genie" theory which doesn't really work. Jesus and his disciplines had really awful things happen to them, up to and including death. As did a lot of other Christians over the years.

As a white Christian in America, I've never experienced harassment over my religion. Growing up, just about everyone I knew was some brand of Christian. It was the norm and what you did on Sunday morning. It was easy to follow Jesus back then.

When I went to college, I was still highly active in my campus ministry. As a freshman, I would get up Sunday mornings and go to the Lutheran chapel while my roommates were sleeping off their partying from the night before. I was an oddity but I was walking with Jesus so that was ok.

I did a lot of growing up the last few years of college. I was engaged to a guy who had rejected God completely and that caused a lot of issues in our relationship and was one of the reasons we broke up. Also watching my mom have cancer and then die from it.

After my mom died, I watched my dad really struggle with his faith. He was really, really angry at God, which was totally understandable. For whatever reason, my faith never faltered. As I got signs that my mom was up in Heaven, my faith in God and Jesus strengthened.

A year after my mom passed away, I got very sick. It started out as a really bad ear infection that was misdiagnosed for a month. Once that was cleared up, I was left with a constant headache. A headache I still have to this day.

I've talked about my chronic pain journey over the years, but I haven't really talked much about my faith as I've dealt with that. My faith in God hasn't changed at all, though my faith in myself has suffered some blows.

I see other people who have wonderful careers that they love, or who are able to keep up with lots of kids. Some days, I have issues getting out of bed, making it through work, keeping up with Emily. While I know some people probably just think I'm lazy, I'm trying to work my way though a normal life while having the weight of chronic pain around my neck.

I'm not sure what my purpose in life in or why I'm meant to be on this Earth. But as a Christian, I try to use my faith to boost myself up. Life isn't always a picnic and horrible things can and will happen. Even though I'm in pain every day, I'm actually not that unhappy. I have my low times and yes, I've had suicidal thoughts. But I'm suppose to be here. Maybe my words will help someone else or I'm just here to raise Miss Emily.

I don't really know what the future faces for me, but I will try to do my best no matter what gets thrown at me. And yes, I may be wrong about my faith, but I'd rather live as a true Christian, as someone who follows Jesus than as to not have any faith at all.

The Need To Be Right

Image: becominghiseve.wordpress.com 

I come from an unique generation. Having been born in the late 70's, I spent my childhood without the internet. But when I hit college, I 'found' the internet and have been a fan ever since. The internet is a great thing but it has led to some odd behavior in people.

Because you aren't taking to someone in front of you, trolls came about. But not just trolls, normal people feel the need to argue a point to death in order to prove that they are 'right'.

Admittedly in my many years on the internet, I've done that a time or two. But as I've grow older, I haven't seen the point. Most of the arguments end in an impasse because both sides feel the need to be right. And sometimes the need to be right can transform a normal person into a troll.

I'm on a lot of different Facebook groups for all my different interests. One is for Christians who are all geeks, Someone posted there how they had been arguing with an atheist about the existence of God.

This seemed completely pointless to me. We Christians can't prove that God exists, it's a belief we have. We've felt His Hand in our lives. An atheist hasn't felt that so they believe firmly that there is no God. It's not something that they could even have found a middle ground on.

I have lots of atheist friends as well as friends of other religions. Trying to prove that I'm right and they are wrong seems like a way to lose friends. Sadly the internet, for all it's good things, fosters the want in some people to browbeat them into believing what they want.

Later that evening, I posted the start of my newest cross stitch project in the cross stitch group I'm in. It is a kit that I've been wanting to do forever and a friend gifted it to me.

I started it at the tippy top of the fabric because I've had issues with kits and running out of room. So I wanted to make sure that I had enough fabric. This is also the most complicated chart that I've ever done, so I've been putting off starting because I was intimidated by it.

After stitching a little bit, I posted on my cross stitch group. Basically a 'Yay I started' and a picture. And then I got the 'advice' I didn't want. Several people told me that I was doing it "wrong".

I told them that I was doing it this way, and while I appreciated the advice, I was going to do it this way. Most of them stopped with the advice, but a couple didn't. One in particular was very fervent in proving how wrong I was. It got to the point that I had to get the group owner involved.

As it's my project, I do have the right to stitch it they way I want, but this person's need to be right pushed her over into troll territory. Even after the owner stepped in and posted for them to leave me be, she had to continue trolling.

It's a strange internet phenomenon because you wouldn't scream at a person in real life about how wrong they are. It does happen over the phone, but it wouldn't generally if you were calling someone you knew.

Being right is nice, I suppose, but I think more people need to realized that there are other ways to do things, and other opinions. In our diverse world today, there are many things that aren't just right or wrong.

Businesses > Women

Image: Wikipedia.com

I'm sure everyone has heard at this point that the Supreme Court has ruled that Hobby Lobby and other businesses don't have to cover birth control on religious grounds.

Now I'm a Christian, but I'm also a woman who uses birth control And this decision is just another way this country is telling women we are inferior creatures, which of course, is bullshit.

A woman is a human being with a mind. I think all women can decide if birth control, having a bunch of babies, having an abortion is best for them. I use birth control because I don't think my body could handle another pregnancy because of my chronic pain issues. And with a husband who has MS, it's not a good idea for us to bring another life into this world that we might not be able to care for.

People of all different beliefs make up this country and I wish that the government tried to have the best interests of all people in mind. But the Supreme Court seems to think the right of businesses trump the rights of women.

I am disgusted by this and I will be boycotting Hobby Lobby and any other business that tries to oppress their employees' in the name of religion.

Holy Week Services

Easter 2011

Holy Week is a big deal in the Lutheran church. We do extra services throughout the week to mark the different parts of Jesus' Passion at my church.

On Thursday we had a Maundy Thursday service that had a worship meal. Emily and I went and we sat for supper with Emily's best friend from school and her family. The meal was really good and it was nice to have some fellowship time. We did communion with the bread before dinner and the wine after, just like Jesus did on that day all those years ago.

The service was nice, but it was really hard for Emily and her friend to stay completely silent since they are five (at least Emily is). By the end, Emily's friend's mom offered to take the girls out. They are generally quiet in church but when they are together they tend to get a little loud.

Todd had yesterday off from work, and let me go to church by myself for Good Friday service. There were a few kids there, but mostly adults because it's another 'be completely silent' kind of service. Good Friday is always a really intense service for me - to think that Jesus went through that pain and agony of dying on the cross to save us from sin can be really overwhelming.

I admit that I got very teary-eyed from the beginning. I felt the presence of God very strongly through the service so it was very powerful for me. But I think that Emily would have been either completely overwhelmed or just really bored.

Our church has done an Easter Vigil service on Easter Saturday before but not this year. So we just have Easter Sunday service tomorrow. It is will be a lovely finish to Holy Week.

Ash Wednesday

Emily's cross from last year

Today is Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent. I'm Lutheran so we observe Lent and Ash Wednesday.

My church here is the first church I went to that did the ashes on the forehead. My other churches would have a service but that was it. It was a little strange the first year I went but it's a great symbol. I have pictures of Emily with ashes on her forehead from every year she's been alive.

I like Ash Wednesday service. It's a somber reminder that we came from dust and to dust we will return. Lent's a somber season so it's a great beginning.

I remember one year in college, Ash Wednesday fell on my best friend's 21st birthday. We went to the service but then we went out drinking a little. It was a rather surreal day!

For this year, I'll be going to church early for choir practice and then will be going to the service where I'll be singing with the choir. Emily will be with me, of course, so there will be another picture of her tonight with ashes on her forehead.

The "War" on Christmas

This past weekend was Asheville’s Holiday parade. On the local news’ Facebook page, there is always a ton of posts complaining that the parade is a Holiday parade and not a Christmas parade. I’m a Christian and I celebrate Christmas, but I never understood the whole war on Christmas thing.

There are tons of Christians out there celebrating Christmas every year, but there are lots of other people too that celebrate other winter holidays. I’m not a big fan of trying to push my religion down people’s throats. I’ll talk about it if people want – my former best friend was agnostic and she had a lot of questions about my religion and what I believe. I answered them all honestly, and I think it gave her a lot to think about.

But I like the use of ‘holiday’ because it’s inclusive. I may say Merry Christmas, since that’s what I celebrate, but I wouldn’t mind if someone said Happy Hanukkah or Blessed Yule if that’s what they celebrate. This country is supposed to have a freedom of religion, so lots of people celebrate different things (or in some cases, don’t celebrate at all).

I wish all Christians would try to be more Christ-like and inclusive to people who aren’t just like themselves. I have plenty of non-Christian friends who I care for dearly and I hope all my friends have a great holiday season.

Chronic Pain and Suicide

My two big reasons for living

I was reading the blogs I follow yesterday and I came across The Bloggess’ post about Suicide Prevention Week. Her post has some great links to where you can get help if you are feeling suicidal. But I thought I’d talk a little about chronic pain and suicide.

When I was a teenager, a friend of the family committed suicide. He was in a dead end job and his wife had just left him. Since I was so young, I saw things more in black and white. I couldn't understand why anyone would take their life. Now that I’m older and have more life experience, I can understand it a little more.

It always makes me sad when I hear that someone with chronic pain has committed suicide, but I can understand. I've had those thoughts myself sometimes. I've never been really suicidal, but some days when the pain is really bad and I get really depressed, it’s hard not to have those thoughts.

Living with chronic pain is hard even on the good days. I’m one of the lucky ones. I can hold a job and do fun thinks like Dragon Con and Disney World. But sometimes the pain levels get unbearable. This past Sunday night I was in a lot of pain and Todd was working. I was going down the path of bad depression, but I wasn't suicidal thank goodness.

I have had vaguely suicidal thoughts in the past, especially when my chronic pain first started. Chronic pain plus depression and anxiety is not a good combination. I've thought about how I would do it but that’s as far as it’s ever gone.

There is so much to live for. For me, I have my wonderful husband and child, plus all my friends and family. And I’m a Christian so I don’t really want to tempt fate / Hell by taking my life. I just try to take it one day at a time.

I hope that if I became truly suicidal, I would get help. Life is precious, even with chronic pain.

Emily and her Oddly Named Imaginary Friend

When Todd and I started dating, I let him know that religion is very important to me. Thankfully, he was already a Christian with a belief in God. He didn't really care what domination we were, so we are Lutheran since that’s what I grew up as.

Emily’s been a member of the same church since she was a baby. She was baptized when she was about three months old. She started going to preschool at our church last year and attended her first Vacation Bible School this summer.

Because we are a Christian household, we pray and talk about God a lot. Since Emily is four, she is able to understand some of it. We focus on how God loves us and I have also told her that thunder is just God bowling because the noise freaks her out.

Right after VBS this year, she started talking more about God and how he was with her. It morphed into god being her imaginary friend. Her friend, god, is a little boy about her age who likes cars. She doesn't talk about him all the time but sometimes, and she does know he’s imaginary and that it’s just a game.

I haven’t discouraged her at all, but I do wonder what some people might think when she starts talking about her friend, god, in the store. But I want to encourage her to use her imagination because I think imagination is a good thing.

Did your kids ever have an oddly named imaginary friend?